One would think of someone from a foreign land marrying a Filipino as a stranger, the way Josephine Bracken was the “dulce estranjera” or sweet stranger to Jose Rizal.
The description may be said of Beth Day Romulo who came to the Philippines in 1972 first as a girl friend of the eminent diplomat and former United Nations President, General Carlos P. Romulo, and, not too long after, his wife. In time, though, she would be so at home in our country that she might have been born here.
Many years earlier, in 1959 they first met but had their respective spouses. In 1972, they saw each other again, this time both widowed.
Carlos and Beth getting together as a couple and choosing to live in Manila did not immediately get the approval of many Filipinos, including that of Ferdinand E. Marcos, the President of the Philippines, who feared it would have a backlash on the Philippine-American negotiations on the extension of the stay of the bases in the country.
But the love that the couple had for each other won over the doubt and censure of his kababayans. Theirs would prove to be a marriage made in heaven, this despite the disparity in age.
What went for the couple, other than the sincerity in their love, was an intellectual compatibility of two outstanding writers who looked beyond the confines of their lands of birth. They were both international citizens, he because of his world-renowned career, she because as a writer, her understanding of life and perception of its multi-shaded realities inspired her to be willing to explore the other side of the world, although she admitted to not being knowledgeable enough of the diplomatic life.
It was an exploration that was ignited in her by the general’s proposal, initially of a relationship. Yet, Beth Day had second thoughts, not so much because of his age, but the uncertainty of a life she did not know a thing about, this despite her curiosity as a writer and a passionate thirst for new knowledge.
As it turned out, it would become a successful partnership, she providing the companionship and fulfilling the role of a wife to an international statesman, no less than Mr. United Nations himself, as his peers and leaders of the world referred to him. He, through his demonstration of his love for her, inspiring admiration and respect for them both, and thus making sure his own family, friends and the officialdom would love her and finally realize she was, surprisingly, a further asset to his already exemplary career and renowned worldwide status.
Hers was a myriad of responsibilities from hosting the most elegant dinners, to standing beside her man in a reception line at the Waldorf Astoria, to engaging in conversation with the leaders of the world, and with these, one would imagine, the quirky aspects of her responsibilities such as having to deal with women in high places who might be frivolous or lacking in depth, though she never voiced this observation or dislike, because then, she was the perfect wife of a diplomat. She was never less of what people expected of a lady who behaved well, conversed well and entertained well. She even knew how to deal with the First Lady Imelda R. Marcos, who was known to impose on cabinet members’ and other government officials’ wives, this even if the husband happened to be the revered and legendary General Romulo. And so there was Beth Day, dancing at the palace, attending the state dinners, and later, because she couldn’t do otherwise being a writer, reminiscing her years at the palace with gusto, humor and, well, a certain displeasure though written with finesse and grace.
Of course, I should mention here that her book on the history of one of the country’s most prestigious landmarks, The Manila Hotel, The Heart and Memory of a City, was a favorite of mine, one that I had used as a reference for many articles about the Grande Dame. It was the most exhaustive of a book about this international institution, and it succeeded as well in showing and recreating the social life during the American and postwar periods.
But to go back to Mrs. Romulo, the bottom line was always that she was a loving wife, and when the General passed away, something that she had expected would happen, she continued to live in the Philippines, and we were reminded of a Ruth who vowed to remain with her mother-in-law. In this case, Beth chose to remain in her husband’s motherland and be with his countrymen. No love for this country by a “sweet stranger” could have been demonstrated any better.
If General Romulo was a great man, his choice of Beth Romulo, one who would be his willing loved one, partner in both his public and private lives, and a step mother to his own children and grandmother to his grandchildren, was perfect and not only reflective of his wisdom, but most importantly, it was one made with a heart sensitive and responsive to the longings of his inner being.
This country was fortunate to have Beth Day Romulo in its midst. And in her passing, we thank her for being the right woman for the eminent man we were and still are proud of, and for being the epitome of a great Filipina by choice. If she was at home, it was because she loved this country and she loved the man who brought her to his home and his people.